


That Unspoken Thing[Not Really Brothers Anyway]

by MerelyJamieMerelyWriting



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Cuddles, Dream Kissing, Dreamsharing, Friends to Lovers, Literal Sleeping Together, Loki Drinks to Forget, Lucid Dreaming, M/M, Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Pre-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Pseudo-Incest, Spaceships, Thor Can't Stop Touching Loki's Hair
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-06
Updated: 2019-03-06
Packaged: 2019-11-12 14:53:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18012977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MerelyJamieMerelyWriting/pseuds/MerelyJamieMerelyWriting
Summary: After Ragnarok, the brothers try to adjust to life on the ship with limited resources.  Loki spends his days getting wasted and his nights passing out on Thor's couch, Thor spends his days being grateful for what little he's managed to hold on to and worrying that Loki is still running from something.  Loki wakes up to Thor's hand in his hair and Thor drags him back to bed with him like they used to sleep when they were small.  Things get complicated when they remember that they used to share dreams when they slept together back on Asgard and Heimdall pops in to remind them that it's time for their resupply mission.["You're as unpredictable when it comes to receiving affection as one of those deceptively adorable creatures they have on Earth, oh- What did Darcy call them?  Cats?"  Thor rambled as Loki turned to face him, dark eyebrows lifted incredulously as he listened to him continue in an amused tone.  "Sometimes you pet them and they give you their little round fluffy bellies and their little bean toes and it's so wonderful that you forget every time that half the time all you get is shredded by their hidden toe daggers."]





	That Unspoken Thing[Not Really Brothers Anyway]

            Thor sat in front of the window in his room, gazing out into the star littered blackness as he tried to comprehend feeling so content when he'd lost everything he'd ever known save Loki and Heimdall. His attention drifted over to the reflection of Loki on the other half of the window, passed out across the couch with the bottle of Asgardian moonshine still clutched between his nimble fingers.

            He smiled softly, shaking his head in wonder as he took in how graceful Loki still managed to look when he was sprawled across three cushions with his mouth ajar. He'd been showing up every night like clockwork and drinking himself into a stupor the entire week they'd been travelling. Thor was all for celebration after a victory but this seemed more like Loki was running the only way he could on an enclosed ship like this.

            A part of him, on an deeply instinctual level, took it as reassurance that Loki truly was back on his side for he had never known his brother to willingly leave himself vulnerable around someone he wasn't decided on trusting. Thor sighed, feeling the keen edge of unfairness that while Loki had been able to spin out when everything he knew had turned out to be false he hadn't had the same opportunity himself.

            Thor stood and walked over to Loki silently, crouching down to take the bottle from his limp fingers. Loki's brow was furrowed in his sleep, eyes restless under the lids, and Thor smiled down at him. 

            At least, for now, there wasn't really anywhere he could vanish to. Thor had craved the dependable prickly consistency of his companionship from their shared childhood every second of the last four years while he believed him dead.

            He felt happiness rising in his chest as he remembered the moment he'd laid eyes on that ridiculous statue and known in his heart who was behind it. He shook his head with a small snicker as he thought of the play he'd seen the end of. For all the evil schemes and grabs for power, there was something endearingly fragile and pure at the heart of his brother still.

            Thor reached out to brush a lock of hair back from his forehead, thinking only to smooth the worry from his face, and Loki's eyes flew open as his hand shot out to grab Thor by the neck. Thor didn't move other than to swallow reflexively against Loki's grip, lips parting in surprise as he took in Loki's wild terrified eyes.

            Loki drew in a shuddering breath and squinted at him blearily. "Brother?" he croaked, hand slowly unclenching but not dropping from its premium strangle position.

            "I'm sorry, you looked troubled by your dreams," Thor said earnestly, realizing that the hand on his throat was shaking slightly.

            Loki blinked at him for a moment, looking nonplussed. "So you decided to what, braid my hair?"

            "I'm sure you don't remember this," Thor rumbled, eyes fond as he slowly reached a hand out to brush the remainder of Loki's sleep mussed hair out of his face. Loki's eyes followed his hand's unwavering approach warily. Thor wove his fingers into the hair at the back of his neck and swept his thumb gently over Loki's cheek as the hand Loki had on his throat relaxed enough to make speaking more comfortable.

            "When we were young, you were plagued with terrible nightmares and whenever you woke up you would come and find me," Thor continued, watching as Loki slowly relaxed under his attention. "You'd come sneaking into my chambers at all sorts of odd hours, even then you were great at hiding yourself, and you'd burrow under the comforters with me so I could tell you stories until you slept once more."

            Loki frowned, looking pleased despite his impatient stare. Thor moved to thread his fingers into the hair at Loki's forehead, rubbing Loki's scalp gently as he combed it back away from his face. Loki shifted minutely to press into the soothing pressure and his eyes fluttered shut while he hissed, "I remember."

            "Well, after you'd fall asleep dear brother," Thor said, carding his fingers through Loki's hair again and watching his face relax just a little bit more. "I would stay awake and watch for you to show signs of distress, then whenever you stirred I would stroke your hair until you settled."

            Loki regarded him quietly for a few minutes as Thor continued to pet his hair soothingly. "How do you always seem to find it in yourself to be kind to me, to mourn my absence, to always welcome me back after I-" Loki broke off, mouth twisting bitterly as he fought back a wave of regret and self loathing bolstered by his alcohol level.

            "I told you on Sakaar, I thought we'd fight side by side for the rest of our lives. I will settle for what I can get." Thor tilted Loki's face to catch his gaze as he continued frankly, "You are my oldest friend and my only family, I know you think sentiment foolish but I love you very much brother."

            "Perhaps foolish is a bit too strong of a word," Loki forced out around the lump in his throat, unable to look away from Thor's piercing blue eye as he broke out into a grin that crinkled the corner of it charmingly. The room spun around Loki and he made a noise of protest as he realized he was being scooped up off the couch.

            "Are you sober enough to switch yourself to something less creaky and leathery without accidentally turning either or both of us into random animals?"

            Loki glared up at Thor as he carried him across the room to the door to his bedroom, offended on so many levels he didn't even know where to start. "Okay firstly, I did that one time and we were teenagers drinking wine that wasn't even compatible with our biology. We're lucky we didn't die."

            Thor chuckled and nodded, corner of his eye crinkling merrily as he toed the door open. "Secondly," Loki continued imperiously, reaching out to try to snag the bottle of brandy as they passed it and missing. "You can put me the fuck down right this second."

            Thor laughed at that, full throated and genuine. "Were I to stand you on your feet Loki, you would not even feel where they connected with the floor. You certainly aren't in need of more alcohol."

            "Thirdly," Loki quipped with a dark laugh as he focused for a second and his clothing rippled into an emerald threadbare ribbed tank and thin black pajama pants. "You have no idea how much alcohol I'm in need of."

            "What are you dreaming about that's had you drowning yourself in liquor since before I knew you were still alive?" Thor asked, eyebrow raised as he sat down on the edge of his bed and his clothing shifted to a red pair of pajamas that matched Loki's in style. 

            He wondered absently why Loki had given only himself a shirt and shivered at the sudden contact of Loki's bare arms against his abruptly exposed chest. He was surprised to find that under all the layers he was usually wearing, Loki was actually very well muscled and toned for all his thin grace.

            "What does it matter," Loki replied loftily, trying to squirm out of Thor arms and huffing as he was unceremoniously tossed onto the mattress beside his brother.

            "Tell me," Thor prodded, tugging the comforter out from under Loki with a swift yank that sent him tumbling up towards the pillows.

            Loki laughed humorlessly into a pillow as Thor let the comforter fall back down over him and flicked the light off before he climbed into the bed, shoving Loki over until they both fit. 

            "I thought you were planning to tell me a story and lull me back to sleep," Loki complained, looking up at the ceiling in the dim starlight with a haunted expression as he chewed on his lip.

            "I am, just as soon as you tell me what you're so frightened of that you can't sleep until you can't properly think straight. How can I justify trusting you again if you can't even bring yourself to be honest with me?"

            Loki bit his lip and took a deep shaky breath. "Thor," he warned, voice uncharacteristically weak.

            "Tell me, please," Thor responded softly, rolling on to his side and tangling his fingers in Loki's hair soothingly again. "You're not alone anymore so stop trying to shoulder everything on your own. If there is some burden you bear, let me help you bear it."

            "Thanos," Loki breathed before he could bury it again, trying to quell the nausea the name caused as it rolled off his tongue by pressing into the steady warmth of Thor's hand in his hair.

            "The Mad Titan?" Thor asked after a moment when he placed where he'd heard the name. "The one who gave you the spear and sent you to Earth?"

            Loki nodded sharply, chewing the inside of his cheek as he tensely waited for Thor to ask him what the dreams were about so he could do his best to storm off back to the couch despite his wobbly legs and escape the uncomfortable conversation for the night.

            Thor began to hum an old Asgardian lullaby that Frigga used to sing to them when they were small as his fingers rubbed at the knot of his clenched jaw until Loki relaxed marginally, eyes fluttering shut as his breathing gradually evened out and Thor's fingers dove through his hair once more.

            Thor remembered grimly what Loki had looked like when he'd encountered him on Midgard and remembered what he'd heard about Thanos in the time since then. He would wait to push Loki for more information, he wasn't certain that he really wanted to know the details.

            He nudged at Loki until he rolled onto his side groggily, grumbling irritably the entire time. Thor rolled his eyes and tugged him back into his chest, slipping a hand over his mouth to stem the stream of protests. He felt Loki smile against his palm and threw a leg over him to pull him closer so he could enfold him like he used to when they were small.

            Loki went still as Thor wrapped around him like an octopus and felt so young for a moment that he ached as all of the things he'd once thought the past decade would bring flashed through his mind. Him and Thor would have fought, but they always had. He was the one who had crossed the unspoken line so many times after finding out his true parentage.

            He never would have thought that he'd ever have become so unused to his brother's touch that this kind of easy familial intimacy, which used to come as naturally as breathing to them, would be this foreign feeling. He'd grown too used to stubbornly distancing them in his mind every time someone brought up their relation for it to feel natural to embrace it.

            Excusing their closeness with the reasoning that they were brothers triggered his natural tendency to mentally rebuttal with 'adopted' as though that negated the implied intimate nature of their relationship. In this case, all it did was raise awkward questions about what other types of grown men tended to cuddle each other after a nightmare.

            Loki sucked in a breath as he felt himself dozing off in the enveloping safe pressure that was Thor. He really was exhausted, he reasoned as he pressed back into the embrace tentatively and moved his leg to hide his confused erection before Thor could accidentally bump it with a constricting limb. 

            It had been a long time since he'd allowed anyone this close to himself and his body was just reacting to the warmth of another body and _it's not like they were really brothers anyways_. Loki's heart stopped for a moment as he realized that, for the first time since he'd found out about Odin's lies, that sentence had filled him with something closer to relief than grief.

            Loki laid there for what felt like an eternity, not quite drunk enough to pass out but tipsy enough that his skin felt overly sensitive as the full feeling crept back into his wooden limbs. Every time Thor twitched against him in his sleep, Loki shivered as goosebumps popped up wherever the contact had happened.

            He did his best to calm his nerves and focused on steadying his breathing, eventually falling asleep more deeply and lucidly than he had in years. 

_When he opened his eyes in the dream, he found himself on Midgard just after he'd been set loose by Thanos with Thor's hand in his hair and the wind howling around them._

_"I thought you dead," Thor growled, face twisted with emotion._

_"Did you mourn?" Loki sneered, trying to mask the way Thor's pain shook him to his core._

_Thor gave him a look that suggested that he was the stupid one after all. "We all did, our father-"_

_"Your father!" Loki interrupted, fury igniting in his eyes as the reminder of the lies smarted enough that he shook Thor's hand free, stalking away before he continued. "He did tell you my true parentage did he not?"_

_"We were raised together, we played together, we fought together-" Thor's voice was raw and Loki flinched at the wrecked quality to it, self hatred filling him as he listened to the devastation in Thor's voice. "Do you remember none of that?"_

_The memory skipped forward in the dream, and Thor was striding up to him to take hold of his shoulders as his voice rose in desperation. "You give up the Tesseract! You give up this poisonous dream!"_

_Loki's dream seemed to slow as Thor paused, eyes roving over his features to hesitate on his lips and Loki remembered feeling something awaken inside his soul that terrified him as Thor's hand moved automatically to his hair again._

_"Come home," Thor pleaded, eyes searching Loki's for a tense second and as his eyes landed on his lips again he thought for the first time that Thor might kiss him. Might as well, an internal voice sneered at him, he's not even your brother anyways._

_He had never felt so alone or without hope and he had never wished so hard that he were just a boy again. The hummed notes of his mother's lullaby echoed in his mind, Thor's voice comforting him as the dream world shifted around him again._

_He was pressed against a column after they'd broken him out of his cell, Thor's hand sealing his mouth as an unfamiliar excitement flew through him. Loki wrenched Thor's hand off of his face, breathing hard as he demanded in a rough voice, "What?"_

_He followed Thor's intense stare down the hall at the guards and took his distraction as an opportunity to study his face for any changes. His tongue flicked out to wet his lips and the world shifted again as the lullaby filtered through the dream._

_They were in the small ship, Jane passed out in the front as Loki steered them gently. Loki glared down at his restraints, riding high on the thrill of being in sync with his brother once more and wishing he hadn't given him reason to feel he needed to restrain him._

_His brother was singing Jane's praises and Loki felt a bitter surge of jealousy so strong it nearly choked him. He reminded Thor spitefully of her lifespan, pouring salt in the wounds until Thor's face was filled with fury and a vague disappointment that made his blood sing._

_"And will that satisfy you?" Thor growled, leveling a glare at him that made something dangerous jump up in his gut to meet him._

_"Satisfaction's not in my nature," Loki replied, shaking his head with an angry smile._

_"Surrender's not in mine."_

_Loki looked away from him as the graveled quality to his voice made his heart leap. He pulled a face as he tried to defuse the situation by mocking him gently. "Son of Odin-"_

_"No," Thor snarled, standing and advancing on Loki. "Not just of Odin, you think you alone were loved of mother? You had her tricks but I had her trust!"_

_"Trust?" Loki repeated, rage overpowering his reason at the mention of their mother and he moved closer to Thor as well. "Was that her last expression? Trust? When you let her die?"_

_"What help were you in your cell?" Thor's voice dropped to an even more dangerous octave as electricity crackled in the air around them._

_"Who put me there?" Loki choked out bitterly as his eyes filled and he repeated at a shout. "Who put me there?!"_

_He grunted as the breath was knocked out of his lungs, Thor shoving him back until he ran into the side of the boat. "You know damn well," Thor roared, fist pulling back as Loki waited eagerly for the pain he was seeking. "You know damn well who!"_

_Thor panted as they stared at each other, eyes wide as he took in Loki's avid stare and parted lips and the aggression melted away into a different kind of tension altogether. Loki waited, not breathing, as he tried to figure out if Thor was about to punch him or kiss him._

_After a few heartbeats longer than felt comfortable, Thor stepped back as his face screwed up in confusion and frustration._

_"She wouldn't want us to fight," he forced out, shifting from foot to foot as he tried not to lose it._

_Loki felt amusement warm his blurring eyes as he shrugged slightly. "Well she wouldn't exactly be shocked."_

_Thor's eyes warmed reluctantly and he stepped back into Loki's space, hand going automatically to Loki's hair to stop him from moving away as his eyes drifted shut and he leaned in to kiss a tear from Loki's cheek._

_"I wish I could trust you," Thor breathed against his skin, sounding devastated._

_Loki's heart shattered in his chest and his eyes filled anew as he flashed back to all the times Frigga had kissed away their tears when they were too young to know to hide their weaknesses. "Thor, don-" he started to say, trying to twist away from him._

_Thor caught the restraints and tugged his hands down to his lap as he pressed their foreheads together. "Hush, brother."_

_"We are not brothers-" Loki spat furiously, glaring defiantly into his eyes._

_"You will always be my brother." Thor tilted his head to kiss away another tear and the contact shot through Loki, burning pleasantly in a way it hadn't when he was little and Thor had subbed in when their mother was away._

_As Thor went to pull away he hesitated, eyes caught on Loki's lips again. Loki's stomach jumped as Thor pressed a chaste kiss to his slightly parted lips and shame shot through him as he realized nothing about it felt familial._

_A small noise escaped Loki's throat desperately and he snapped. "Brothers do not do this Thor."_

_"Don't do what?" Thor questioned, eyes innocent and wide._

_Loki leaned in and reconnected their lips, nipping Thor's bottom lip and using his gasp to slip his tongue in. Thor gave a soft surprised grunt, freezing as Loki's tongue tickled down the side of his tongue and across the roof of his mouth provocatively._

_Loki pulled back, breathing heavily and waiting for Thor to hit him._

            "I'm not entirely sure that's exactly what I did," _Thor breathed against Loki's lips, eyes unreadable and voice unsteady but also somehow clearer-_

            Loki woke from the dream abruptly, opening his eyes in the darkness of Thor's room and taking stock of his surroundings. Thor's arms were still enveloping him from behind and his leg was still thrown over his own but his body wasn't in contact at all and his muscles were tenser than they should be for someone asleep.

            Loki shifted back into Thor and heard him swallow hard behind him as his backside encountered the reason Thor had scooted back in the first place.

            "Were you just-" Loki breathed into the tense silence while Thor held his breath behind him for a moment before breathing out in a rush as he flopped over onto his back.

            "Yeah, I think so," Thor whispered back as the covers rustled around him. "I had forgotten that that used to happen sometimes when we slept alongside one another."

            They laid there silently for a few more minutes before Thor cleared his throat awkwardly and Loki fought the urge to smother himself with a pillow rather than wait for whatever horrific thing was about to fall out of his brother's fool mouth.

            "So is that-er- I mean to say do you, well- have you," Thor made a frustrated noise and scrubbed a hand over his eyes. Loki rolled onto his back and smacked his pillow over onto Thor's face.

            "Thor, I haven't fallen asleep and had anything but an out and out nightmare since before your exile so if you're trying to ask me if I dream about things like that often then the answer is a resounding no," Loki growled in an uncomfortable rush, glaring at the ceiling.

            "Do you want to talk about it?" Thor asked from under the pillow, voice muffled and embarrassed sounding.

            "I believe I already made my opinion of our family's communication skills quite clear," Loki snapped, rolling back onto his side with a huff.

            Thor chuckled and flung the pillow back over Loki's head, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and stretching his arms out above his head as several joints popped. Loki pushed the pillow aside and sat up, eyes trailing down Thor's sculpted back a little slower than he'd willingly admit.

            "Where are you going?" Loki asked, stretching down to touch his toes and groaning with pleasure at the burn in his limbs. Thor stood and Loki's eyes widened when he turned to face him.

            Thor followed his gaze quickly and flushed with a mortified grin, staring down at his impressively tented pajama pants wryly. "Okay first of all, my eye is up here," Thor deadpanned so seriously Loki nearly swallowed his tongue trying to hold his laughter back in favor of an amused frown and ended up with something like a snort.

            "You're an idiot," Loki grumbled, mouth quivering with amusement still as he scooted to the edge of the bed.

            "Second, I'm just going to go have a shot of brandy or six and then maybe grab some more sleep when I'm less," Thor paused, glancing up to meet Loki's eyes with a mix of confusion, heat, and his usual awkward enthusiasm before clearing his throat and finishing. "Awake."

            Loki felt his cheeks heat up as he glanced back down at Thor's obvious erection reflexively. Thor chuckled again, deep and warm as he turned to head out to the main room. Loki bounded out of bed and slipped through the door just ahead of Thor, a shiver of danger running down his spine as he felt Thor's hand settle heavy on his hip to guide him out the opening in front of him.

            There was a loud knock at the door and Loki nearly dropped the bottle as they spun to face the main door.

            "Maybe if I don't respond they'll go away," Thor whispered, taking the bottle from Loki without turning away from the door. There was another loud knock and Loki shook his head as Thor dumped booze into his mouth.

            "I know you're in there, I can see the both of you."

            Thor's hand snapped out and yanked Loki between him and the door with a scandalized expression as Heimdall's voice echoed through the door sounding exasperated.

            "Seriously?" Loki said, rolling his eyes and thanking the norns that he'd tossed a quick illusion over his own erection to disguise it. 

            "As your King," Thor began in a haughty murmur, amusement thrumming deep in his tone.

            "As my- For the love of-" Loki hissed, shooting him an icy stare over his shoulder as he continued. "You think a silly little title like that is enough to bend me to your every wish? You've known me far too long to think something so utterly ridiculous-"

            "Yeah, yeah, sure but for all your chatter Loki," Thor replied with a smirk as he eyed him delightedly. "You're still stood between me and the-" he broke off when Heimdall banged on the door again.

            "The ship is fueled up and the flight is programmed in, get to the ship whenever you're done with your-" Loki swore he heard Heimdall snicker in the weighted pause. "Bending. I'll talk to the two you when you get back, we need to start discussing the technicalities of day to day life. Try to be sober when you get back, alright?"

            "Will do Heimdall, my friend, I leave the Asgardian people in your more than capable hands! We shall return with supplies, keep it together while we're away." Thor called out, pressing the bottle into Loki's grasping fingers when they went for his throat.

            Loki frowned at him, taking a few drinks from the bottle and sucking in a deep steadying breath.

            "I will eagerly await your return, watch each others backs out there. I've heard this marketplace can be dangerous and I want you both back in one piece. Safe journey."

            Thor grinned at the door, emotion welling up as he noted the way Heimdall was sure to specifically and unambiguously include Loki in his well wishing. Thor watched something gentle in Loki's prickly demeanor as he looked in Heimdall's direction and reached up to finger comb the sleep tangle out of the back of Loki's hair affectionately.

            "Kindly get your kingly fingers out of my hair," Loki growled, summoning a dull dagger and reaching behind him to press it against the base of Thor's still solid erection threateningly.

            Thor let out a couple tense chuckles as he slowly pulled his hand away from the back of Loki's head and the knife vanished as quickly as it had appeared.

            "You're as unpredictable when it comes to receiving affection as one of those deceptively adorable creatures they have on Earth, oh- What did Darcy call them? Cats?" Thor rambled as Loki turned to face him, dark eyebrows lifted incredulously as he listened to him continue in an amused tone. "Sometimes you pet them and they give you their little round fluffy bellies and their little bean toes and it's so wonderful that you forget every time that half the time all you get is shredded by their hidden toe daggers."

            "Their hidden toe dag- Are you mental? What-" Loki shot back, breaking into a wide grin and snickering. "Why ever would you not just say claws? Are you that drunk already?" 

            Thor laughed a little and looked back at him with a dopey grin. "They have sneaky daggers that come from nowhere just like you, and my success rate is about fifty fifty."

            Loki shook his head, unable to get the smile off his face as he turned to head to the bathroom to splash water on his face before they left on this mission.

**Author's Note:**

> Something I was working on a while back that I've returned to with the intention of completing it, let me know what you think and if you think it's worth finishing :) As always thank you so much for reading, comments or kudos fill my inspiration meter <3 The Guardians will feature in the later bit of this story as well so keep an eye out!


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